Three Months In!
It is amazing how life takes you through transitions. As missionaries, we have a lot of transitions. Transitions to the US, transitions to our country of calling, transitions with cultures, on and on the list could go. I was expecting to go through some type of a transition with pregnancy. I quickly found however, my thoughts on what that transition would look like, and what it actually was like, were quite different. It has been a while since I have posted…I’ve needed a few moments to make it to the other side, collect my thoughts before I share.
Aaron and I went from; hoping for, praying for and believing for a child…to hoping for, praying for and believing for a healthy pregnancy and baby. We have so much excitement about what has happened. We will randomly yell during the day, during car rides, at dinner, “We are going to have a baby"! We went to the baby store (one of the only, everything-you-need-for-baby-store that is available to us), and looked around, only to be completely adrift amongst a sea of baby-things. Aaron said in a hushed tone, “I know we need this stuff, but I have no idea what it is or what we actually need." Our Czech language (while developed enough for survival and very light conversation) is not developed for the baby-world vocab, which adds to the surreal atmosphere of shopping in a foreign baby store.
One challenge of being pregnant for us, is separation from family. It seems sharing the excitement with our family…over the phone/facetime/skype wasn’t enough for us either. We have been blessed with friends here, who are wonderful, but what’s missing is the idealized sense of community that comes from having two sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. We imagine sitting at our parents homes, while they, and an impromptu family reunion endlessly parade in front of us. They are showering us with praise, congratulations, balloons and cupcakes. …We tell ourselves that those feeling are just that, idealized. In reality, it would never be “that perfect" inevitably…someone would be sick, someone would get mad, the cupcakes would be dry and the balloons would accidentally fly away and get caught in a power-line. No! We are in Prague, not Missouri...and God is doing something amazing in our lives.
Two weeks after we found out we were pregnant, we got to hear the sweetest sound. A sound that told us, what is happening is real. A sound that told us God did a miracle in our lives. That sound? Our sweet baby’s heartbeat.
We went to our Fertility Clinic at 6 weeks, for a check-up ultrasound. Someone told us, this two weeks of waiting to hear the heartbeat will be the longest 2 weeks. Having just waited 2 previous weeks to see if we were pregnant or not, we thought this could not be possible…but, it was. We were waiting in the waiting area, our doctor was running behind, and every minute seemed to drag by. Our doctor finally motioned for us to come in to her office. She said, “Are you still pregnant."? Her English is still somewhat stilted, so we were caught off guard at her phrasing. We squeaked out an answer of “Yes, we hope so." We went into her office, sat down and answered a few brief questions, then went behind the curtain…this time, Aaron came too! (He was never allowed there before.) She started the ultrasound, the monitor was turned away from me at first, and I saw a smile come across her face. I looked at Aaron, and he was nodding yes too, with a big ol’ grin! She turned the monitor, showed me our tiny, sweet, amazing miracle…then, turned the sound on. There is was. The littlest, sweetest most amazing sound. I was trying not to loose it, but was so thankful for God’s faithfulness in that moment. What a great God we serve! He loves us and cares for us.
Before we left, we scheduled our last appointment (next week) and got a refill on my medication. I remember when we first started visiting the clinic. There were so many unanswered questions and unknowns. Now, we go in, greet everyone and know what to expect and what is going to happen.
After our first look at our Little Olive Shoot.
Now, we are finding ourselves in another transition. This transition is from the clinic to a doctor’s office. It has not been easy so far, but we are; hoping for, praying for and believing for the right doctor, that can help us to the ability that we need. We know God cares about that too, and we are learning to continue to trust in Him with every step.
One Month! My sweet husband is doing a photography project. He says he wants to capture the feelings I have each month in a photo. Month One, excited and happy…feeling a little nauseous.
Our first appointment with a new doctor, was last week. We are thankful and so grateful to have a private english speaking clinic that we use. The gynecologist I had visited before is no longer there (It was during our last 3 year term I saw her). So, that means I had to be assigned to one that was available.
As we entered the room and met the doctor, she seemed nice and quiet. She asked for our paperwork from the fertility clinic. She was looking for a specific piece of paper that said, I was released from their care. We did not have that paper since we have one more appointment. I did however mention, that they gave us this paperwork knowing we were bringing it to our doctor, which they encouraged us to do. She shrugged her shoulders. This part of the story is a challenge for me to explain well, because we are dealing with some complex cultural differences, and how the patient / doctor relationship works in this part of the world. Me not having that paper…means I could have just left the room at that moment. The appointment would be about us not having the right signature, than about me the patient. I couldn’t answer any questions about my health, (because I’m just a silly pregnant girl…not a doctor)
She eventually asked me to go to the ultrasound table (they now have an actual privacy screen-which I was thankful for as people tend to walk in and out of the room in the middle of the ultrasound…only one during this appointment). She said since it was early in the pregnancy, so she would not do a long ultrasound. She showed us our little miracle. Our little oliveshoot had grown since we had last seen. She refused to turn the sound on, or tell us if everything was looking good. She tore the print out off, and handed it to Aaron. She asked if we had any questions…of course we did…I started to ask, and she basically looked blankly at us. She could not understand us enough to understand what we were asking, or answer. I had asked specifically about something I could get from the pharmacy for heartburn (no tums here), she said there was something, but didn’t know the name. We pretty much stopped asking at that point, and Aaron and I just looked at each other a bit in shock. The nurses (who spoke great english), said we could wait outside and they would bring us the dates for our next two appointments. These appointments would be big ones. As we waited, there were some intense conversations happening between Aaron and I…I mean, I am pregnant.
Our second view of our Little Olive Shoot…even bigger than the last time.
As the nurse came out, she handed me the paper with the dates and times. I noticed it was a different doctor our appointments are scheduled with. We have heard from a Canadian couple, that they had this other doctor, and that she is great, speaks english and even gives you her cell phone number if you have any concerns. Will you pray with us, that she will become our primary doctor. We are planning on asking for her, or a better english speaking doctor.
This is where I have to remind myself. God did this! He made this amazing miracle inside of me, and He knows each step of the process for us from here on out. He knows what we need, and He cares for it…so, we will continue to hope for, pray for and believe for God’s hand in our lives (all three of us).
Two Months! This last month, I have been tired and nauseous quite a bit. No more OJ for me. However, mashed potatoes have been a big success! Brewster seems to know something is up in the Davis house too!
And so, we have returned to the baby store. Looked at strollers and other things we know we need, and feel excitement and all the czech baby marketing materials are beginning to look less overwhelming. I have experienced some “wonderful reminders" daily, that, yes, we are having a baby. …please read “wonderful reminders" sarcastically. My days seemed to be filled with nauseous feelings, eating all the time and taking naps in between. We have decided which room will be the nursery in our house, and will be moving things to make it all work. We are happy.
We are continuing to Hold onto Hope, as we are Anticipating Joy!