The Week After Mother’s Day

It seems a little less impactful this year, and I know it is because it is not so “in your face" here in Europe. In fact, Aaron and I were traveling on Sunday, and didn’t see much mention of it…that is, of course, until you check Facebook and see all the well wishes.
However, this year, I noticed more people were writing statuses to include all women. Women who are mothers, women who have adopted children, women who are fostering children, even women who are striving to be mothers.
Last Mother’s Day, I was in church in the US. It is one of the hardest holidays for me. There is this feeling of dread when you wake up, and think how am I going to face this day? How am I going to walk into church and smile and act like everything is fine? How will I smile and nod through the questions people will ask, “Do you want kids?" or “When will you become a mother?"

Each year, I sit through the service where all the mother’s are recognized…with a lump in my throat and on the verge of tears. Hoping and telling myself, next year I won’t feel this way, because I will be a mother…believing that.

1 in 8 couple suffer from infertility. That means, if you have a group of about 20 couples/people, 2-3 of them may be struggling. Normally, we are the ones who are smiling and answer questions (that are sometimes too personal to be asked) about having children, with a slight nod and whisper of a yes. We may be silent, we may even have a tear or two fall, but on the inside we are crying out desperately, to be what you are.

We pray, we cry, we don’t understand, BUT…we have faith, we have hope and we believe.

1 Samuel 1: 9-19

9 Once when they had finished eating and drinking in Shiloh, Hannah stood up. Now Eli the priest was sitting on his chair by the doorpost of the Lord’s house.10 In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly. 11 And she made a vow, saying, “Lord Almighty, if you will only look on your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."

12 As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine."

15 “Not so, my lord," Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord.16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief."

17 Eli answered, “Go in peace, and may the God of Israel grant you what you have asked of him."

18 She said, “May your servant find favor in your eyes." Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast.

19 Early the next morning they arose and worshiped before the Lord and then went back to their home at Ramah. Elkanah made love to his wife Hannah, and the Lord remembered her. 20 So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel,saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him."

So, on this week after Mother’s Day, I want to say thank you to all the wonderful mothers out there who work so hard to make their children’s lives great. I appreciate you setting the bar high, as to what a mother should be…I look forward to applying a lot of things I have seen you do one day soon.

And to the ones who, like me, are trying so hard to become a mother…thank you for making it through one of the hardest days of the year, with a smile on your face. Even if it is not what you felt, you still smiled through your sadness. I am praying for you. Praying, that as we wait for our moment, that we all can have faith, even if it is as small as a mustard seed, to hold onto in believing for our miracles.

Praying together with you, as we are holding onto hope and anticipating joy!